October 4th – The doubts creep in…

I’ve just about managed to force myself back into the upright position after an hour of ‘killer’ boot camp. It’s funny, last Thursday at boot camp when I’d been rejected by the marathon I found boot camp relatively bearable. Tonight, when I’m aware I’ve got 6 months to become the fittest I’ve ever been, I was nearly in tears trying to do my fifth press up (I managed 8 – I’m no quitter). I’ve even broken my ‘baths are boring’ rule and had one, it was still boring, but I’m hoping it’ll spare me some of the inevitable pain tomorrow.

So its fair to say I’m feeling less optimistic today. I don’t think its helped that I’ve pursued the ‘athletes diet before becoming an athlete’ today, and eaten dairy milk bubblys and galaxy truffles with the same enthusiasm I’ve been giving my Special K – again, pre getting an actual place. Bizarre behaviour.

I woke myself up at 5am yesterday, my head swimming with fundraising ideas. I lay there for about 15 minutes, decided it was too cold to get out of bed and write them down, and just hoped I’d remember them when I got up. I think I actually did manage to get the gist of it down a few hours later, but just to be on the safe side, I have employed a project manager called George. She loves a good spreadsheet, and knows how to use one, and I think shes pretty giddy about the prospect of working up some new ones for the cause.

If she can concentrate on bossing me / everyone about and getting us the cashola in, I can concentrate on getting myself into shape. People are still talking to me about beetroot. I really don’t think it needs to come to that??

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